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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Self Appreciation

The more we appreciate something, the more it grows. But to not appreciate something until it grows will just keep it stunted. If you appreciate the flower but are angry or sad that the seed and stalk aren't beautiful then you will neglect the seed, keeping it from growing into the beautiful flower you desire. Or, if it does flower it will only happen through a sheer will to survive and the effort it takes will be tremendous. More often than not causing the flower to wither sooner as it expends it's energy just to survive.
YOU are just like that seed. No matter what changes you want to see with your life and in yourself, berating what you are now will only bring more struggle and hardship to you. You must appreciate who and what you are right now as you are. Flaws and all. Funny how easy that is to do with someone else, right? We can overlook so many imperfections in the ones we love yet so often can not do it for ourselves. I think the problem with many of us it that we feel that what we don't dislike, we won't change. Makes sense at first. If I don't like the color of my bedroom, I change it to a color I love. So why wouldn't it be the same for me? If I don't like my appearance, I'll just change it to one I like. Here's the catch....anytime we say that we don't like something about ourselves, judgment comes into play. Unlike the bedroom walls that feel no disappointment that you don't like the color, and certainly don't berate or blame themselves for the color they are, the minute we say that we don't like something about ourselves we follow that with things like "I'm so fat" or "What a loser I am". Well, if that's what we tell ourselves, that's what we'll feel. And if that's what we feel, why would we deserve to lose the weight or whatever it is we wish to improve? The only way you can truly grow is to appreciate yourself as is. Your foundation is already strong and beautiful and as you appreciate this, you will only grow stronger and more beautiful. The key is to grow not change or fix.
      So it all sounds great, right? All I have to do is appreciate myself and I'm all set. The thing is, we're so used to berating ourselves that it has become a habit. One that holds strong and takes some work to break. You may feel great as you first start to tell yourself things like "I'm a wonderful and beautiful person." But then you find that sustaining that feeling is too hard. It's easier to just be unhappy with yourself than to love yourself. This is normal. Rather than thinking that you are failing because these thoughts and feelings come up, know that you are on the right track and they are just coming up as a reminder that you are doing your job. I mean, why would they need to come up if you weren't doing something to move beyond them? So look at them as successes. Sit with them when they come up and don't panic about it. Just allow them to be while knowing that they no longer serve you. Even if it's uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is not a warning that you are doing something wrong. It's a sign that you are growing! Just like being nervous about starting a new job that you know you'll really love, the discomfort is just a part of the process of moving into new territory. And believe me, the landscape in this new territory is more beautiful than you could ever have imagined or hoped for!
Self Appreciation = Joy of Life

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